Sunday December 16th 2007, 11:53 am

Earlier this week I went to the semi-annual luncheon for CRA retirees. We meet at Brewsters Restaurant in Bedford every June and December. It’s amazing that most of the retirees look better now than they did when they were working, even the ones in their 80’s. The stress of working takes it’s toll, but seems reversible. For some reason the women look much better than the men.

One of the recent retirees, who had transferred to the Calgary office about twenty years ago and retired to Nova Scotia last year, sent us an email about what is it like to retire. I found it very amusing and very true. If you haven’t retired yet, this is what you have to look forward to.

And They Ask—Why I Like Retirement???

Question: How many days are there in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays and 1 Sunday.

Question: When is a retiree’s bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it may take all day.

Question: What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There isn’t enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don’t retirees mind being called seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among seniors what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!!!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out their basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult children will want to store their stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending coffee break.

Question: What’s the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does the retiree often say he doesn’t miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday nothing, and Saturday and Sunday I rest.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination. There is no better time to be happy than NOW.

Have a great day,